Vic and Amy Santos did not come to a Saturday breakfast in Queens to present a picture-perfect marriage.

They came to tell about the years when their marriage nearly ended: his affair and the child born outside their union, her grief and anger, the estrangement that followed, and the forgiveness they say took more than two decades to arrive.

Standing together before about 30 members of the Brotherhood of Christian Businessmen and Professionals from the New York tristate area, the Cebu couple framed their story as one of faith, repentance and reconciliation.

“We stand before you not because we have lived exemplary lives,” Vic Santos said, “but because we have experienced God’s amazing mercy.”

The Santoses, who belong to BCBP’s Cebu South chapter, spoke Sept. 26 at The Palace in Queens during a fellowship breakfast. Their testimony, titled “Finding God’s Blessings Through Life’s Struggles and Pain,” offered a candid account of how a marriage shaken by betrayal was rebuilt slowly, through prayer, forgiveness and a religious community that welcomed them when they felt broken.

For many who attend BCBP’s regular breakfast meetings, such personal testimonies are the heart of the gathering. The community was founded in the Philippines in July 1980, when 24 men met for breakfast at the Makati Sports Club. It has since grown into a Catholic charismatic community focused on helping people in business and the professions bring Christian values into work, family and public life.

BCBP’s New York chapter traces its own beginnings to migrant members, largely from Cagayan de Oro and Iligan, who began meeting in 2011. Its first men’s breakfast was held in January 2012 with 20 attendees, including 10 first-time guests.

For the Santoses, the faith community became important only after they had reached a difficult point in their lives.

Two different beginnings

Vic grew up in a large, observant Catholic family in Manila after being born in Tacloban City. He said Sunday Mass, evening Angelus prayers and novena services were part of childhood. But as he grew older, he said, those practices felt more like habits than a personal relationship with God.

Amy, born and raised in General Santos City, described a different childhood. The eldest of 11 children, she said her parents worked as farmers to support the family. She attended public school and worked as a household helper for an aunt through high school so she could continue her education. Her family’s financial struggles, she said, meant religious instruction and regular church attendance were not central to her early years.

The two met while Amy was still in college. Vic’s sister attended the same school and became friends with Amy, who soon joined the family on occasional outings. Both recalled being drawn to the other’s devotion to family, even as they recognized that they had grown up in very different circumstances.

“I never imagined he would take me seriously because he came from a well-known family,” Amy said. “Still, I have to admit that he immediately caught my attention.”

Vic, who later earned a business administration degree from San Beda College, said Amy’s openness about her difficult beginnings and her hopes for her family deepened his admiration. He proposed, and she accepted. But their plans met strong resistance from Vic’s father.

Vic chose to leave home and marry Amy without his parents’ approval. It was, he said, the first major decision he had made against his parents’ wishes. The couple began their married life with little money and uncertainty about whether he had made the right choice.

“I often questioned whether I had made the right decision,” he said. At one point, he said, he was tempted to leave Amy and return to the stability of his family home.

He eventually found work with a beer company, was assigned to Leyte, promoted to sales supervisor and later transferred to Cebu. The couple waited eight years before the birth of their first child, a daughter they said they believed came through their devotion to the Santo Niño.

A marriage shaken by betrayal

Then, as Vic described it, professional success and work that often kept him out late brought him into a relationship that became “a stumbling block” in his life. He stopped attending Mass and, he said, became consumed by work and worldly pleasures. The consequences became clear when he fathered a child outside the marriage.

“When my wife learned the truth, she was heartbroken and devastated,” Vic said. “The pain I had caused nearly drove her to leave me.”

Amy said the disclosure upended the life she thought she knew. She had seen Vic as loving and faithful, especially during the years when they had hoped and waited for a child.

“When I confronted Vic, he admitted everything,” Amy said. “I was devastated. The pain was almost unbearable.”

She said that neither his confession nor his request for forgiveness could immediately erase the betrayal. Her job was lost, she said, friendships and professional relationships deteriorated, and family members blamed her. “Everything in my life was falling apart,” she said.

Vic described reaching a low point and praying alone at Santo Niño Church, unable to lift his head because of guilt. He asked for forgiveness and for the strength to change. “Lord, I’m tired of living my own way,” he recalled praying. “This time, let Your will be done in my life.”

An invitation to begin again

A longtime friend and former colleague later invited the couple to a BCBP breakfast meeting. They were struck, they said, by a couple’s testimony about moving from a dark past toward faith and hope. The experience led them to return, participate in the organization’s Christian Life Program and join its Music Ministry.

The Santoses have been members of BCBP since 2016. Vic later accepted a role as breakfast head of the Cebu South chapter, an act of service he described as surrendering to God’s will.

The long work of forgiveness

Healing in the marriage, however, was not immediate.

Amy said she initially struggled to understand BCBP’s teachings because of what she described as a weak spiritual foundation. Over time, she said, prayer and what she understood as the work of the Holy Spirit helped her release resentment and the desire for retaliation.

“The Holy Spirit freed me from the heavy burden of pain, resentment and the desire for retaliation that had prevented me from truly forgiving,” Amy said.

She said she eventually forgave her husband and chose to move forward. More than that, she said she welcomed his daughter into the family with love. Vic said that after 22 difficult years, Amy accepted the child, now 30 and married with three children.

The couple do not present their experience as a formula for other marriages facing betrayal.

Instead, they describe it as their own religious testimony about accountability, the long work of forgiveness and the possibility that painful experiences can be used to help others.

“Our past mistakes became lessons,” Vic said, “and our wounds became opportunities to encourage others who may be facing similar battles.”

They closed with a message for those whose careers, businesses or retirement plans may appear settled but who are still searching for purpose.

“We may be blessed with successful careers, thriving businesses, a comfortable life, or even the opportunity to enjoy retirement,” Vic said. “But let us always remember that our service to God is a lifelong commitment.”

For Amy, their place in BCBP is part of that continuing call. “God’s love and mercy are always greater than our failures,” she said, “and He is always ready to welcome us back when we choose to follow Him.”

Editor’s note: This article is based on the written testimony shared by Vic and Amy Santos at the BCBP fellowship breakfast in Queens on Sept. 26. Quotations and personal details are attributed to the couple’s prepared text.